Saying Good-bye to Anabel

Today was a difficult day for all three of us as we had to say good-bye to Anabel, Emmett's beloved babysitter these past few months. We hired Anabel within a week of our arrival -- she was recommended to us by a MESSAGE mom and she was the first and only person we interviewed. We all got such a good feeling from her and she was highly recommended, so we figured we'd try out the arrangement.

Since that first meeting, Anabel has been taking care of Emmett at least two or three times a week since early September. I very much needed and looked forward to these few hours to go out, run errands, read a bit, write letters, respond to email, etc. Having someone as capable and loving as Anabel whom we trusted was an enormous comfort. Plus, Anabel took care of Emmett at least one night a week which allowed David and me to share a quiet dinner out or see Paris at night on our own.

For the first several weeks, Emmett would cry each time we left him with Anabel. I was certain that it was normal separation anxiety since Emmett was used to spending his entire day with me and I knew that as soon as I left, he would be fine. The first time Emmett went right to her when she arrived was a great day as I remember Anabel exclaiming, "Oh, Emmett loves me, too! He wants to come to me!" I know she has particular affection for babies, and it's become obvious she is quite attached to him. When describing their day together, she has told us, "Emmett kissed me today!", "Emmett and I practiced walking," "He and I danced this afternoon," and "Emmett loves to 'talk' to me."

During a typical day, she would feed him his lunch, take him out for a walk, play at the park, put him down for a short nap, and feed him a snack when he woke up. I know she also sang to him, read books to him, and would crawl around the apartment playing games with him. As an added bonus while Emmett napped, Anabel would do some light housework, something we didn't expect, but greatly appreciated. Throughout these past few months, David and I have half-joked about asking Anabel to come home with us, but because she has relatives in Paris and our house is too small, we knew it wouldn't be possible. We still ask ourselves if it's possible to find someone in the U.S. like Anabel who loves Emmett as much as she does.

Last night, as Anabel was telling us details about her evening with Emmett, she broke down and started crying, telling us that she's going to miss him so much. I couldn't help joining her myself as she told us how much she loves Emmett and how he embraced and kissed her that evening. She also told us that she cried as she watched him sleeping in his bed. I dreaded today as I knew it would be her last time taking care of him. As I took a few photos of her feeding him his lunch, sure enough, we both started weeping.

At the end of the day, before she left, we exchanged phone numbers and addresses and promised to stay in touch. Anabel kissed Emmett several times through her tears and looked like she was trying to remember his baby smell. I told her that we would definitely be back to Paris and would make sure we'd see each other again. The heartbreaking part is that he'll never be this small again and that despite my best efforts, he won't remember all the wonderful times he had with Anabel or how much she loves him. I have every confidence that we'll see her again, but it's just hard to say good-bye (for who knows how long) to someone who shares our love for our baby and who has gotten to know him so well.

I have to go get another Kleenex again now....